OkCupid é Namoro Online Gratuito.

Note: because I am a lazy bastard, this post is copied from my movie review site, Austin Audience.com.

As much as I completely adore nerd films, today’s comic book adaptations leave me wanting more. Exploring the troubled psyche of a brooding antihero is all well and good, but occasionally I like to walk out of a movie theater without the urge to go curl up in a corner and weep.

I want my superheroes to be badasses. None of this soul-searching, namby-pamby ennui, thank you very much. Thankfully, Iron Man is the antidote to the modern emo superhero. Robert Downey Jr’s Tony Stark, downing a scotch on the rocks, tells Spidey to go wash off his girly eyeliner, laughs at Clark Kent’s impotent mooning over Lois Lane, and wishes Batman would just cheer up already.

This is why I absolutely, 100% geeked out over Iron Man, despite knowing next to nothing about the backstory until 30 minutes before the show, when my moviegoing companion (a walking encyclopedia of comic book lore) gave me a crash course on all things Marvel.

Speaking of crashing (yes, I am a master of the transition), kudos to the Alamo Drafthouse for putting on a great show, the highlight of which had to be the real-life flying jetpack dude.

The overly enthusiastic trivia contest participants came in a close second.

But that's neither here nor there.

Robert Downey Jr. plays weapons-mogul-turned-pacifist Tony Stark as George Clooney on one of his more serious days. He oozes charm in that fantastic way only bad boys can. Downey Jr. smartly capitalizes on his own checkered past; he's a real-life n'er-do-well searching for redemption, and he embodies the character completely.

Some of the funniest moments in the movie come not from Downey Jr. but from his various robotic sidekicks: Jarvis the AI butler, and a particularly zealous fire prevention robot. Props to director Jon Favreau for bringing life to a lifeless supporting character (a la R2D2), a not-inconsiderable feat.

Also not inconsiderable is the supporting cast, most notably Jeff Bridges as a deliciously evil Cheney-esque weapons magnate, and Gwyneth Paltrow as a subdued-yet-spunky Pepper Potts, Tony Stark's go-to gal for everything from escorting out one-night stands to replacing the slime-covered magnetic device in his chest cavity.

Even as the plot begins to muddle itself into utter confusion near the end of the movie, Iron Man reminds audiences what a straightforward action film can be when it's well-executed: a visual spectacle, an adrenaline rush and an all-around awesome theater experience.


Iron Man stars Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard and Jeff Bridges. For showtimes in Austin, Texas, click here.

Note: this post is shamelessly copied from my movie review website, Austin Audience

An IMDB "joint ventures" search reveals that Hollywood powerhouses Renée Zellweger and George Clooney have never once joined forces in a motion picture. This gross error in Hollywood casting history has finally been rectified with the modestly hilarious prohibition-era football comedy Leatherheads.

Which two actors can be so simultaneously suave and screwball? With lightning-quick repartee and chemistry rivaling the greats, Zellweger and Clooney elevate Leatherheads from silly to sizzling. Sure, the adorable John Krasinski does his darndest to melt your heart at every turn, and the reliable Stephen Root is at his Miltony-est--but it's the film's two A-listers who make the thing worth watching, even for this football-hating critic.

Once upon a time, college football ruled the world, and professional football was a dying business. When his financially failing professional team goes bankrupt, Dodge Connelly (Clooney) hatches a plan to recruit football's only celebrity, a war-hero-turned-college-quarterback (Krasinski), to play for the defunct team. The plot particulars are a little bit fuzzy and not entirely compelling, but who needs plot when you've got this kind of star power?

Unfortunately, the moment either Clooney or Zellweger saunters and/or flounces offscreen, the lack of direction and rambling pace become apparent. The birth pangs of a sport that is now a ubiquitous nationwide obsession are sort of interesting to watch, but the action sequences themselves left me glancing at my watch, wondering when the movie would quit pretending to be a historical biopic and get back to being funny.

And funny it is, when the film plays to its strengths. Often touted as the heir to Carey Grant, Clooney proves himself worthy of the mantle (working the smirk/raised eyebrow combo like a champ), while Zellweger's sassy reporter Lexie Littleton more than holds her own against the onslaught of charm that is George Clooney.

Leatherheads is fluff--ridiculous, zany, happy fluff--and the film's shining moments occur when it lets the actors be their fluffy selves, rather than attempting to be a legitimate sports drama. If today's NFL was this much fun, maybe you'd catch me in front of the TV on a few more Monday nights come football season. George Clooney for MVP, anyone?

Leatherheads stars George Clooney, Renée Zellweger, John Krasinski and Stephen Root.

Click here for showtimes in Austin, Texas.

Note: this is a post taken from my movie review website, Austin Audience.

Tangentially Relevant: It's not quite a movie review... but kinda!

For this very special "Tangentially Relevant," we go back in time to the year 1991. President Bush is waging a war in the Middle East, a Clinton is running for the White House, and a brand new video game console is sweeping the nation: the Super Nintendo.

Children across America are foaming at the mouth to get their hands on the brand new console, with its sleek, rounded controller styling and fetching purple buttons. But the real reason for their rabid SNES fervor can be summed up in three words: Super. Mario. World.

Was there a time when visions of mushrooms, gold coins and fire-breathing plants haunted your dreams?



Or maybe laser-shooting swords and pieces of heart were more your thing?

Whatever your poison, I'm pretty sure you're going to, like, totally geek out when I tell you that the Austin Wind Symphony is performing the music of your favorite video games, both classic and modern, this Friday at 8 p.m.! The awesomeness will include music from The Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros., God of War, Star Wars: Battlefront, Superman Returns, Medal of Honor, Halo, Final Fantasy, Civilization IV and Kingdom Hearts. Tickets are $8 for regular folks and $7 for student-types.

Also included--free of charge!--is the chance to see yours truly rock out on the flute. What's that you say? The words "flute" and "rock out" should never be used in the same sentence? I think Ian Anderson might beg to differ! (So there.)

And now, a menagerie of linkage for your edification:
Find more info on the concert and buy tickets online.
RSVP on Facebook.
Join our Facebook group.
Be our pal on MySpace.
Check us out on YouTube.

Note: this is part of a series of movie reviews I write at www.austinaudience.com.

My face throughout most of "Teeth."




If you happen to be the proud owner of a male reproductive organ, you may want to think twice before seeing Teeth. Or for that matter, even reading this review.

Not possessing one of the above-mentioned organs, I was able to fully enjoy this campy black-comedy-bordering-on-horror flick. My male friends have told me, however, that even discussing the subject matter gives them a raging case of the willies (pun intended). Maybe that's a testament to how powerful the myth of "vagina dentata" was for the cultures that invented it--even a modern, enlightened man can't stand the thought.

Teeth, astonishingly enough, was written and directed by a man, yet relishes its subject matter with a distinctly feminist glee. Dawn, the cherubic leading lady, is cursed (blessed?) with a special power (the aforementioned teeth in the hoo-ha). She copes with her... uniqueness... by shunning sexuality altogether, becoming the poster girl for her local abstinence group. The movie deals with Dawn's rapid, hormonal swing from one extreme to the other, from holy roller to man eater (in the most literal sense of the word).

Dawn lives in a world of unusually violent, twisted men who, the movie posits, richly deserve the punishment she inflicts. The film has a wicked sense of justice, leaving shell-shocked viewers no time to pity the victims of Dawn's unforgiving nether regions. Jess Wexler gives a delightfully subtle performance as a young woman discovering her sexuality and the power that goes with it--for better or for worse.

A winning balance between horror and comedy is difficult to strike--see Slither for an introduction, and Shaun of the Dead for a master class. Teeth struggles to find the right tone; rather than establish a mood with staying power, it fluctuates between arty drama, campy comedy and sheer gross-out horror. Each of these is engrossing in its own right, but the movie's failure to consistently mesh them makes it feel jarring and stilted.

But the sheer audacity of the film's premise, and its unflinching execution, are reasons enough to give it a chance. Seeing it is practically a badge of honor. If you're a woman, the "girl power" factor will give you some serious feminist street cred. If you're a man... you might just deserve a medal.



Teeth stars Jess Wexler, John Hensley, Josh Pais and Hale Appleman. Click here for movie times in Austin, TX.