My name is Emelie. I spell it that way because it's a Swedish name, and it's a Swedish name because I'm from Sweden. I moved to San Fransisco with my family when I was 9, and I'm glad I did because the weather here is that much better. The problem is most my local friends are starting to bore me, and that is where you fit in: You're their replacement.

I accidentally speak 3 languages and am presumably presentable, so I work as a freelance interpreter and make a lot more money than I deserve. I'm also a pretty good volleyball player, and like skating and swimming and surfing and and snowboarding. Essentially, I love all activities starting with an s. Except for sniping, maybe. I don't really enjoy to snipe.

Additionally, I'm an artist. I don't actually paint or anything, but I consider the totality of existence as one infinitely multifaceted masterpiece that I create. This way, I get to be interesting, sensitive and unique without having to cover the floor with old newspapers and get white stains all over my crappy tees and soak used rollers in poison and borrow Dave's ladder.

I wouldn't want to think what I'm doing with my life can be summed up in just two paragraphs, so I'd also like to tell you I'm really into traveling. I've been to most of the States and Europe, as well as Mexico and Thailand. Africa is my favorite continent, so I'd eventually go there. Maybe volunteer in a rainforest reservation and tag pandas or something.

Alright, three paragraphs! It gives me peace to know I'm not wasting my life; I guess it's natural to wish to leave a legacy. Still, I'm opposed to this mad ratrace typifying industrialized western societies and its accompanying drive to "accomplish" propagated or perhaps reflected by our rather skewed cultural values, so I'm not going to write a fourth.

Playing with my little sister makes me adept at acting the way a 4 year old would, and working for businesspeople taught me how to behave like I'm 40. So I'm a living time machine, basically. It's true! I'm really good at skipping across spacetime and defying the laws of the universe. And I'm an expert kisser; I consider kissing my calling and my craft.

Lately I'm undergoing a severe gangstarap regression, so I suppose people first notice how I'm bumping to vintage Nas on my pimped-out iPod. Sometimes they are struck by my physical resemblance to any number of Romanian actresses, and I of course am flattered by this because the New Wave of Romanian cinema is inspiring as well as inspired.

There's this place I go to drink tea, read, dance and pick up beautiful, brilliant boys, but I've fallen out pretty badly with one of them and don't really want to face the stress of seeing him, so I'm looking for a different venue. I guess the luxuriant home of some kind of soulmate would be wonderfully appropriate.

I think I'm the hottest shit ever and consider myself better than everybody else. At the same time, I'm extremely insecure and require constant approval and ego reenforcement. Also, I have a hard time keeping in touch with people I'm not extremely interested in and don't generally value friendship. And I eat fish while pretending to be a vegetarian.

Frankly, I'm not certain you should. Sure, if you manage to hit the right buttons and attract me you will probably have the best sex you could possibly ever have, but I don't know if that really would be worth it for you. At this point in my life I'm unable to see how I can sanely fit into the world at large, let alone any kind of relationship.